I hate to break it to you, but your 20s might not be the best time of your life and that’s fine. Most motivational speakers and writers might beg to differ and they would instruct you on what to do, relationships to engage with, steps to take, etc. “Be focused, Be hardworking, Be selfish, You need to work hard in your 20s to have a great future” They’d say. I am not trying to invalidate their words, but I am highlighting the fact that everybody’s experiences are different and things aren’t as straightforward as you might expect them to be. So here are five things to look out for when navigating your 20s.
The Self Sabotage
I know, I know. We might consider this more of a personality trait and might have nothing to do with age. Here’s the gist, things wouldn’t always go as planned and at this age, the pressure that comes with succeeding is so surreal. Speaking from experience, I believed and felt that I would always be in high spirits, be motivated, be consistent, be a goal-getter when I got to my 20s but I hate to break it to you, it was a miracle if I ended each day without bursting into tears. When things get so overwhelming and you keep trying so hard but it doesn’t work out, self-sabotage might be an escape route. We all know that Social Media doesn’t make it any easier because your friends wouldn’t stop posting theirs wins on Instagram, celebrities wouldn’t stop uploading their statuses about the next extravagant thing they have gotten or would like to get. Wanting to take active steps in not reaching your goals because it’s safer to give up than trying and getting disappointed might be a reoccurring theme when navigating your 20s.
The Uncertainty
Growing up, we had everything planned out. You would get into the college of your dreams at 18, you would graduate college by 21, you would get your dream job at 22, get married at 24, raise a beautiful family and everything would be perfect. For example, uncertainty creeps in when you are struggling to get into college, I mean any college at this point at 21. You are quite uncertain about your dreams and aspirations. You would regret some decisions you made, wish you had made some decisions, wish you had thought of some ideas…… leaving you so clueless and uncertain about the future. Some days would go by quick and some days would be extremely slow. There are some days you would be filled with so much confidence and there are some days you would be as confused as ever. The uncertainty that comes with your 20s can be very unnerving. You might have your dream job, dream career, dream life, yet still be uncertain if it’s all going to stay like that forever. You would face making some choices, going out of your comfort zone, which is harder than people think, ending some relationships and in the end, you might come to the resolution “was it all worth it??”
The Back Pains
Lol. This came as a surprise too. The back pains are grievous. I mean, I expected to be very agile and youthful in my 20s, but that wasn’t, or I’d say isn’t, the case. It is worse if you work a 9–5 and you have to be seated every day. I am too young to be needing a chiropractor that was what I said to myself, but I hate to break it to you back pains and shoulder pains in your 20s is a thing. I mean, I am speaking from my point of view and it definitely wouldn’t be the same for everyone. Please, whatever you do DO NOT GOOGLE THE SYMPTOMS OR REASONS except you want to discover an underlying illness or defect you didn’t realize you had. It’s best to seek professional help.
The Weight Gain
I can’t stress this enough, mind what you eat and try as much as possible to eat healthily, don’t underestimate the importance of exercise when you are approaching your 20s because your body would change and your metabolism wouldn’t come to your aid especially if you are a female. I learnt this the hard way, sadly. As I said earlier, it isn’t the same for everyone, so it’s better to be safe than sorry except you need to gain some weight. I woke up one morning and realized that I started having fat folds and my diet hadn’t change one bit; I was confused for a minute because I thought if anything I knew my body so well so it couldn’t turn on me, but it did.
The Anxiety
This is the age where your feelings get so excessive, at least it did for me. There is this constant fear and worry of failure and your worst fears happening, especially if things aren’t going as planned and even if things are going as planned. The tendency to overthink everything becomes high and there is this constant need to compare yourself with others. This can be quite intense. The negative thoughts wouldn’t stop coming at this point and there are some days where you can barely breathe because of these immense feelings and you believe you are losing it at that point.
To wrap it all up, don’t be too hard on yourself, this is your first time being an adult, so it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay not to be like everyone else, it’s okay even when things aren’t going as you planned and it’s okay even if you have nothing planned out. Your feelings and emotions are significant, relatable, and are very valid. Don’t assign your success to any age. Do things at your pace, in your way, and it’s only your opinions that should you hold in the highest esteem. Take it one step at a time. There would be bad days and, trust me, there would be extremely good days. You are amazing; you deserve good things and you are going to be just fine.
With love, from a struggling 24-year-old………
